Welcome to Decembaaaaaa! If you are chronically online like most people, you must have seen two or three IJGBs return to have the best Detty December this year. And your business is gearing up to charge them, sorry, I mean serve them like crazy.
December in Nigeria, especially major cities like Lagos, Abuja, and Portharcourt follows one pattern; everyone suddenly has money and wants to spend. It is expected that your business will be ready to receive all the cash in different currencies, with very fast and reliable payment partners, right?
Wrong. You and I know it’s not that simple.
In case you have forgotten, I am here to remind you of the carol you sang last year,
“All I Want for Christmas Is For This Payment To Go Through.”
Let’s count down the 12 payment nightmares that haunt Nigerian business owners every Detty December. Grab your tissue. You’ll need it.
On the First Day of Christmas, My Payment System Gave to Me…
Day 1: A POS That Says “Transaction Timeout”
A customer is standing there.
Queues are forming behind them.
They’ve picked ₦300,000 worth of items. The Point of Sale (POS) payment machine beeps. Everyone holds their breath.
“Transaction timeout.”
Try again. “Transaction timeout.”
The customer’s card has been debited. Three times already. Your account? Empty. The customer? Furious. The queue? Disbanding.
It’s 4 PM on December 20th, and you’ve already aged 5 years.
This is NOT the life you should be living 😭.
Day 2: Two Bank Transfers (That Never Arrived)
“I’ve sent it o! Check your account!”
You check. Nothing. You refresh. Still nothing. You smile and say, “It’s coming” while your soul slowly leaves your body.
Four hours later, the alert comes through. The customer has collected their items, gone home, posted photos on Instagram, and you are just receiving confirmation that they actually paid.
Your blood pressure has gone through the roof in 4 hours
Day 3: Three Failed USSD Codes
Customer frantically dialling: “*606#… wait, is it *606# or *666#? Let me start again…”
Ten minutes later, they’re still dialling.
Your blood pressure is rising again
See you, heart attack!
God abegggg!!!
If you explain Nigeria to a foreigner and they actually understand it, then you did not explain it well 😩
Day 4: Four “Network Issues”
The four most painful words in Nigerian business: “There is no network”
It’s December. Everyone wants to pay. Nobody can pay.
Why? Because the network sef is doing Oblee.
Day 5: Five Percent Charges
Let’s say you made N100,000 in sales. Congratulations!
The POS company would like N3,500.
The bank would like another N1,000.
“Transaction fees” want their cut too.
You are left with N95,000, wondering if you’re running a business or a charity for financial institutions.
Day 6: Six Customers Walking Out
They came to buy. They wanted to buy. They have the money to buy.
But your payment system said, “Not today, we are on a break.”
You watch them walk into your competitor’s store across the street. Your competitor, who somehow has their payment situation figured out.
That’s not just jealousy in your eyes. Of course not! 👀
Day 7: Seven “I’ll Come Back Later” (Legend has it, they never came back)
The most devastating lie of Detty December.
A customer spends 30 minutes picking items. Gets to the counter. Payment doesn’t work. “Don’t worry, I’ll come back later to pay.”
Later never comes. Your perfectly packaged items sit there. Mocking you. Reminding you of what could have been.
That thing is painful.
Day 8: Eight Chargebacks (The IJGB Special Edition)
I promise you, I am not making this thing up😒
December: An IJGB customer from the UK books your premium package. Pays with their UK card. You deliver excellent service. They post on Instagram tagged at your location. Life is good!
January: “Dear Merchant, transaction disputed and reversed. Amount: $690.”
Wait, WHAT?!🤷🏾♂️😳
You check your records. The same person who was doing “OMG Lagos is so fun, and things are so cheap!” on their Instagram story has filed a dispute with their bank claiming they “don’t recognise the transaction.”
You delivered the service. You have the receipts. You have their tagged Instagram posts as evidence. But their UK bank doesn’t care. The money is gone. Vanished. Like your faith in humanity.
This is not a made-up story. It happened last year to Music Entrepreneur, Bizzle Osikoya. It gets even worse when you read all the stories of business owners regarding this same predicament.
Card payment from abroad, ladies and gentlemen, is the gift that keeps on taking.
Day 9: Nine Hours of Settlement Delay Cos Detty December
Made a sale at 9 AM? Fantastic! The money will arrive in your account at 6 PM. Maybe. If the banking gods are merciful.
Meanwhile, your supplier is calling. You need to stock up quickly so you can keep selling. But your money? Taking a leisurely tour of the Nigerian banking system.
“Your money will be reconciled within 24 business hours,” they say. In December? In this Nigeria? Expect your money next year, darling.
Day 10: Ten Screenshots of “Transaction Pending”
Customer: “But I was debited! See, I sent you the screenshot!”
You: Looking at your empty account, “I believe you, but I haven’t received it.”
Customer: Sends 10 more screenshots from different angles
Your account balance: Still zero.
Your heart? Failing! Oh, Chim!😭
Day 11: Eleven Different Payment Apps (And None of Them Work)
“Try this other app.”
“Let me use this wallet.”
“Maybe this POS will work.”
Thirty minutes and eleven failed attempts later, everyone is exhausted, frustrated, and questioning their life choices.
Your customer leaves without buying. You question why you became an entrepreneur. The universe offers no answers.
Day 12: Twelve Missed Sales (Because Who Has Time for This?)
By December 30th, you’ve lost count of how many sales slipped away because payment systems decided to have a meltdown during the busiest retail month of the year.
You lie awake at night thinking about the revenue that could have been. The Christmas bonus you could have paid yourself. The vacation you deserved.
Instead, you’re singing: “All I want for Christmas is a payment system that actually works…”
Now, there is a difference between unnecessary suffering and smart business moves. In 2025, you should know this.
While you’re out here battling bank networks and timing out POS machines, there’s a whole world of customers ready to pay you in seconds. Not minutes. Not hours. Seconds.
Imagine this scenario
Customer picks items. Customer scans your QR code. Payment arrives in your account in seconds. Customer leaves happy. You serve the next person. Repeat.
No timeouts. No “network issues.” No chargebacks in January because crypto transactions are final. No waiting 9 hours for settlement. No watching your profit margin disappear into transaction fees.
Just you, making sales, receiving money, running your business like the boss you are.
That’s the payment solution your neighbour figured out, by the way!
Prevent Horror Stories With Basqet
Basqet is a crypto payment solution that enables businesses like yours to collect payments in seconds via stablecoins (USDT, USDC) and cryptocurrencies (BTC, ETH) while immediately converting to Naira. You can set up your account in minutes. Choose the payment method most suitable for your business: payment links, QR codes, or full gateway integration, and the most important thing is that there are no chargebacks.
This Detty December, the only thing timing out should be the year 2025, not your payments.
Let’s make money the easy way🕺🏾💃🏾🥳
